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KiteTest

[6/17/2014 10:46:07 PM] M K B: You've just been demoted to helping with the lighting, largely because the producer niece IS in fact mildly prettier than you and, while she doesn't give a shit since this is just a small stepping stone to the fantastic acting career she'll never have, she's better at sounding SPOoOoOoKED than you are, largely because at this point you're mostly pissed off. You now know forty ways to, without outright lying, make it look like an old house is maybe kinda sorta maybe haunted. This however isn't a house; it's an apartment in Bracknell (Berkshire), which at least gave you an excuse to fly to the UK and look around. The bad news is that everyone went for lunch leaving you to disentangle a bunch of wiring for the colored lights and all the detection instrument which, while genuine, has not been recalibrated since flying in an unpressurized airplane cargo hold so it's probably picking up god knows what. The good news is that the cameras are rolling, because GHOST!!!! A skeletal frame with a little girl's face but a grown woman's height is staring at you like it wants to eat you. You're holding a monkey's fist made of electrical cables. There are voices in the back, so you can just run for the relative safety of other people. Is this one real?

[6/17/2014 10:49:07 PM] Kite: Hanna makes eye contact with the ghost rather grimly, indeed, she is mostly pissed off. Since of course she's seen ghosts and spirits at every single one of the places the crew has been, why should this one be any different? "Buy you an icecream if you can, oh, i don't know, show upon the instruments? Be visible to someone other than me? Give me one single damn iota of evidence that there is a long enoguh pole that I could potentially touch sanity with it? Simple stuff really. And hey, you get icecream out of it!"

[6/17/2014 10:52:21 PM] M K B: The cameras are indeed running -- this is supposed to be some sort of time lapse thing which will then be voiced over by someone explaining how the changing daylight and the Underground passing under this apartment block and moving around dust are in fact supernatural occurrencies. There's colored tape on the floor marking where crew member can't go so that the camera doesn't pick them up. The ghost is right in the middle of it. The girl turns around and looks at you -- ye gods, there's a bird nest in her pelvis! She puts a hand in where her gut should be and says "Hungry...." Her jaw opens more than it ought to, revealing carnivorous teeth. Run? Try to talk to it? Check the cameras if they're picking anything up?

[6/17/2014 10:53:31 PM | Edited 10:54:09 PM] Kite: Kite Hanna checks her pockets for anything edible. sure, she usually eats all her chocolatey antidepressant by the time a shift is up, but they're out at lunch, there's some left, right? Why bother looking at the cameras while hallucinating? no, check them AFTER, because she coudl just beh allucinating the confirmation.

[6/17/2014 10:55:46 PM] M K B: (Meow)

[6/17/2014 10:55:52 PM] M K B: (sorry, skype forgot to scroll)

[6/17/2014 10:56:54 PM] Kite: (no worries, this sort of thing happens. *hugs*)

[6/17/2014 10:57:12 PM] M K B: You're all out of those, but you have jelly babies!

[6/17/2014 10:59:09 PM] Kite: Hanna gets out the jelly babies, and holds them out, without crossing the boundary line. if she wanders into a shoot after the hallucinations again she'll be fired, and while this job sucks, starvation sucks more, and going back to the hospital would suck Even More. "This is what i've got on me to eat. You want it? It's yours." Humouring the hallucinations makes them go away faster. They like screaming and gibbering, and well, she just doesn't have it in her to be scared after all these years. "However, i'm gonna suggest you either pick up some birds or lose the nest. As figments go, one without the other looks unfinished."

[6/17/2014 11:03:31 PM] M K B: ".... Hungry.... hungryhungryhungry" The skeletal girl falls on her knees in front of you and opens her mouth wider than it ought to, her voice going into a higher pitch -- the motions and voice do resemble a baby bird tweeting for food. Her hands are under where her armpits ought to be.

[6/17/2014 11:04:18 PM] M K B: Drop the jellybabies into the mouth? into the nest? run away? The skeletal girl is mostly out of frame now, haivng knelt across the line. You still have a bundle of cables on you.

[6/17/2014 11:06:41 PM] Kite: Hanna tries to drop the jelly babies into the nest, because, well, it sounds like a bird, it's moving like a bird, well... treat it like an annoying damn bird. "There you go, you little shithead. Eat up. I swear, if i get a low-blood-sugar headache due to you eating my snacks, and you don't show up on camera, i'm gonna be pissed. Just so you know."

[6/17/2014 11:09:27 PM] M K B: The ghost disappears. You expect to hear the jellybabies fall on the floor so much that you think you hear the sound whereas in fact they're quite gone! Either you are going nuts worse, or this was real -- they're not round enough to have bounced off. Outside, you hear the sound of people getting back from break, you think. They're being louder than usual, even though this segment will be shown in timelapse and voiced over anyway.

[6/17/2014 11:11:07 PM] Kite: Hanna stares a moment longer, looking on the floor for the ruined jellybabies she expects... and then in her pocket to see if maybe she just hallucinated taking them out.. maybe..maybe she hallucinated buying them in the first places, yes.. yes, that makes sense... back to the cabling. untangle the cabling, don't be seen staring into space shellshocked like you've seen a ghost, hahahaha.... "We-welcome back, everyone!!" gah, don't sound so shrill!!

[6/17/2014 11:17:54 PM] M K B: The gaffer asks you if anything interesting happen, doesn't wait for an answer, and tells you to hurry up with the cables, we're done filming in this room and he wants to catch lampholder in the kitchen shake, since it's almost time for commuter trains to get back and those tend to be heavier. This particular reality show crew, you have to admit, takes the whole "no outright fakery" thing pretty seriously... apparently because they have some sort of deal with James Randi to review their methods in an upcoming episode. They're also not particularly nice. In the kitchen, you can hear vapidgirl say that the vibrations have a disturbing, regular-but-not-quite pattern (well, duh), and she switches from improv to reading from script as she woodenly mentions Vetinari's clock, since we're in the UK and all. The cameras are still rolling and the gaffer shouts at you to turn them off and wait for the guys to move them, some union bullshit dating from when cameras were really heavy.

[6/17/2014 11:18:22 PM] M K B: The jeally babies are indeed all gone, however, the hand that looked for them in your pocket has a bit of sugar on it!

[6/17/2014 11:22:42 PM] Kite: "Yes Sir, i'll get right on that!" and.. well, shutting the cameras off and getting ready to move them, part of the procedure IS to make a quick skim of what was recorded... at least a couple should have caught the ghost-bird-girl, right? right? oh pleaseplease have evidence. please? Something? Anything? I realy meant it about the icecream! thoguh i'll have to ask an ornithologist what kind of icecream is safe for birds to eat!

[6/17/2014 11:24:33 PM] M K B: The cameras were set to take one frame every two seconds, but -- Yep, there she is! To you she looked an eerie bluish white, to the camera it looks like... well, honestly, cheap mid-eighties tv series greenscreen, black matte border around the outline and all. But there's definitely a dozen good images.

[6/17/2014 11:26:03 PM] Kite: "Uh, Boss? You, Uh... Mind looking at this?"

[6/17/2014 11:26:45 PM] Kite: "I know you said not to waste time with the cam-check procedure, but.. There's something here."

[6/17/2014 11:31:08 PM] M K B: "Come on, we need to move everything to catch the damn train, what's the-" The gaffer hands you half of a ham sandwich (at least he didn't bite into it this time, making it zero days in a row) and looks at it. Continues to look at it. Finishes gulping the bite of his half of the sandwich. Looks at you with newfound respect. "Hanna did you do that? It looks like shit, but not bad if all you had to use was the camera's software and you had, like, half an hour to do it. Where'd you get the source image? I mean, obviously we can't use it, but maybe you should ask the boss for a transfer to-" He blinks. The look of respect is replaced with annoyance. "C'mon, help me unplug everything and get the guys to bring this stuff over!" He starts unplugging stuff.

[6/17/2014 11:33:34 PM] Kite: Hanna takes the sandwich with a sigh, and get back to packing things up. Well, he saw it. it's THERE. It doesn't require him to BELIEVE what he's seeing. ...waitafuckingminutethatmeansiwasn'thallucinatingohhellhowLONGhavibeennothallucinating?!?! Hanna focusses on unplugging things and then on devouring sandwich in order to keep how much her hand sjust started shaking from showing. Oh no i actually FED a wandering spirit thing of some kind what the hell is that going to mean i... oh no...

[6/17/2014 11:46:20 PM] M K B: You've packed everything up (Arcane Rules let you carry cabels, but not cameras, even though by now the cables weigh more than the cameras) to find the kitchen-plus-living-room graced by the presence of an extra from Monty Python, a portly man dressed in an exaggerated parade uniform from a hundred years ago. He's even got a handlebar mustache and you can tell that at least it is real. The boss is arguing with him. "Look, we didn't ASK for any local experts. If this is because we didnt hire locally, then --" "Listen, my good man, I say again -- I am not interested in your monies, merely offering my services." "Then ask the producer! I can't just put people in the show on a whim!" The man looks at you and, for a moment, puts on a monocle. And looks at you again. And drops the monocle, you can't tell if theatrically or for real. "Oh. My dear fellow, I must insist that I at least be allowed the company of your charming young assistant for a few moments. Vapidgirl, who doesn't have anything to do for the next two hours, perks up and then pouts when the man (who despite age and heft carries the silly uniform very well) ignores her entirely. He's still looking at you. He picks up the monocle, and looks at your hand.

[6/17/2014 11:48:37 PM] Kite: Hanna flinches, makes sure to give the boss the 'no i do not know this man' look, but also shrugging because, well, if it stops an incident to get him out of the way to talk to her, then... well, if he wants to do more than talk without respecting her wishes on the matter, that's why even confirmed hallucinatory psychopaths carry pepper spray in the other pocket than the snacks. Because hallucinations don't file police reports when you mace them. Which is one of the few good things about them. "Er... hi?"

[6/17/2014 11:54:12 PM] M K B: "Hello!" The man strides wide to stand in front of you, bows stiffly, and kisses your hand. "I am Central Of - I'm from Central Casting UK, name is Kipling. I would like to have a quick conversation with you. In there." The guys have started bringing the cameras out of the room you came in, but there's all sort of them, infrared, thermo, various angles.

[6/17/2014 11:54:39 PM] M K B: "Hey Hanna, looks like you've been discovered!" There's some laughter at that. "Hurry it up, I need all the cameras up in ten minutes."

[6/17/2014 11:56:40 PM] Kite: Well, anything to get me away from being mocked for awhile longer. "In there? Sure thing." She lets him lead the way into the room, though she stops at the doorway to make sure he moves in ahead of her, so she shuts the door, she can know he isn't locking it, she can keep one hand on the latch. "But you're not a casting agent. And why did they believe you that you are right after turning you down in offering "expertise" that you were fine with not being paid for?"

[6/17/2014 11:58:58 PM] M K B: "People who work in the film industry often are funny that way - there's a certain glamour to it, and in some places at some times, it just alters your perception. Besides, I'm dressed like a Monty Python extra, in the Berkshires, talking to Americans -- why would they worry about me at all? Now, did you see anything unusual in here, between two hours ago and now?"

[6/18/2014 12:01:04 AM] Kite: "Depends on your perspective on what's unusual, Rudyard." Hanna feels guarded. First time there's actual proof she isn't crazy and suddenly someone is ASKING her about it? This doesn't smell right. "You know what business I'm in. So much can be said about saying nothing that seeing something can take all the words away."

[6/18/2014 12:04:11 AM] M K B: "Quite. Only, the thermocamera feeds to the hard drive in your van, and I had a peek in return for waving off the tow lorry. Very coincidential timing, I'll admit, but even so. I see three options; this show's production values have greatly slipped, you played a well executed practical joke on your master, or it's the third one. So answer me in one word."

[6/18/2014 12:04:42 AM] Kite: "Habit."

[6/18/2014 12:06:31 AM] Kite: "To be fair, there's a lot of singular words I could have chosen. Yes, I saw something. Only to me, they aren't unusual. I've seen something every shoot I've been on. This is the first one to show up on camera. I've seen them all my life, been 'treated' for everything in the DSM 2, 3, and 4 to try to get rid of them, and thankfully they never found the right balance of drugged enough to consent to neurosurgery while not so drugged as to be unable to sign the consent form. So, now you owe me a question. Who are you, really?"

[6/18/2014 12:08:48 AM] M K B: "One more thing before I answer that, and I'll double the offer. What is your nationality?"

[6/18/2014 12:09:19 AM] M K B: "Oh, and as far as showing up on camera -- I'm sorry, but the residual trace is likely already gone. We thought digital would fix that, but alas..."

[6/18/2014 12:10:11 AM] Kite: "Technically, vagrant. My US citizenship was revoked and someone will probably notice that when my current passport expires in about five years and that's going to make things interesting. And... residual trace? You mean they show up on camera all the time and then Fade From What's Already Recorded?"

[6/18/2014 12:16:06 AM] M K B: "Well, that certainly makes the paperwork easier! To answer your second question, no, they very rarely do, and only fade from certain recording methods -- and I understand they had a devil of a time getting rid of the other ones in the past century. To answer your first question, my name is indeed Rudyard Kipling, Central Officer. I am with the Queen's Own Aerial Hussars and, as of right this minute, so are you. Welcome to the service, lass!" The man offers his hand, in which is a gold pound coin. You've hung around the movie industry enough to be able to tell that fake gold is shinier and more gold-ish than that; the coin looks older than both of you combined.

[6/18/2014 12:16:41 AM] M K B: He looks mildly embarassed. "Uh, I'm not that Rudyard Kipling, of course. My prose begins and ends at grocery lists and reports."

[6/18/2014 12:18:05 AM] Kite: "...I had assumed Kipling was a fake name and said Rudyard as a joke, honestly. Before I shake your hand, which likely carries some significance given you deal with ghosts and all that which have been whispering at me, or shouting at me, all my life... what, EXACTLY will joining the Queen's Own Aerial Hussars mean i'm signing up do to, and how much will I get paid?"

[6/18/2014 12:24:38 AM] M K B: "All your life, you said? Ghosts aren't real, of course -- they're generally teleiad pranks. Uh. Faeries. Faery pranks. Looks like it went more than a bit too far in your case. We'll have to get you up to speed on terminology, not to worry. Cheapest way to change the story is to change the words, you see. Now if we're getting actual ghosts, we've got bigger problems... we'll have to conduct a proper debriefing, but... Oh, but listen to me rant on! You're signing up to deal with these things so that they can keep their storybooks and we can keep our textbooks, and you will be paid... why, I daresay about twice what you make now, which isn't much, I admit, but -- we haven't adjusted for inflation since Madam Thatcher -- however, the perks are excellent. Travel the world, witness remarkable things, and in your case -- I strongly suspect -- a side benefit will probably be... silence."

[6/18/2014 12:25:42 AM] Kite: "Given it sounds secret societyish, room and board as benefits or docked out of pay?"

[6/18/2014 12:32:10 AM] M K B: "As benefits, of course. A lump sum will be handed to you, your next of kin, or a nonreligious charity of your choice upon separation."

[6/18/2014 12:33:07 AM] M K B: The man looks around. "Don't worry, our casualty rate has gone down considerably since the project's reactivation. Now! Shall we make for base, then?"

[6/18/2014 12:34:25 AM] M K B: "Once you have undergone some training sorties, it will make most sense to put you on the tail of the teleiad that's messing with you!" He smiles, then looks worried for a moment. "...they usually don't travel..."

[6/18/2014 12:35:10 AM] Kite: Hanna extends her hand to shake, and does indeed attempt to take the coin. "Count me in then. I could go not feeling insane. ...All this crap has been someone's idea of a prank?! These.. teleiads. Do we know how to brutally murder them?"

[6/18/2014 12:39:59 AM] M K B: You're left with a $1000 coin in your hand! "I've been told that particularly cruel boys or girls can impale them on pins, but that's less killing and more... medium term storage, really. Can't fancy it does much for their morale. We treat teleiads as canaries, really, it's odd that you would get such a nasty specimen... Now, as much as it pains me to admit it, we have adopted a custom from the French Foreign Legion; wiould you like to pick a nom de guerre? I recommend against anything too pretentious." The man opens the door; your boss is waiting. "Hanna, are you going to get back to work or not?!?"

[6/18/2014 12:40:14 AM] M K B: Kipling smiles.

[6/18/2014 12:43:12 AM] Kite: "You were right, fuckface, i've been discovered. So two things I've wanted to say to you for years: Die in a fire, and go fuck yourself."

Turning back to Kipling, Hanna smirks, "Will 'Val' do for now? We'll figur eout if it's short for Valium or Valiant depending how things go."

[6/18/2014 12:46:33 AM] M K B: You leave a room full of reality show crew staring with wide eyes and dropped jaws as Kipling opens the door for you. Waiiting for you, sparkling in black dignity and having just been shined, is... a Reliant Kitten? Really? How are you even going to fit in that thing given how rotund Kipling is? At least he has the grace to look embarassed. "We really try to not use the jet for local trips, see. You have class; I half expected you to flash the coin at them."

[6/18/2014 12:47:22 AM] M K B: hxxp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reliant_Kitten

[6/18/2014 12:48:44 AM] M K B: "We figured these would sell better than they did, be nicely inconspicuous. Driving around in Ford Prefects was starting to get a little bit silly."

[6/18/2014 12:50:01 AM] Kite: Hanna, or, perhaps, Val now, steps out smugly... it.. feels like a weight's been lifted. She's not crazy. She's never BEEN crazy. She's been being fucked with by a something. And she's just signed up to make it her job to Fuck Back Harder. This is a very good day after all, even if she IS going to have a headache in a few hours if she doesn't have a snack. "At least it isn't a Robin. I'd have been worried they really COULD get thsot into space."

[6/18/2014 12:58:27 AM] M K B: The car is definitely not bigger from the inside, and looks like it belongs to a very safety-minded hippie, what with all the runes etched in the body, the dreamcatchers sewn to the upholstery, and the extra airbags that by the markings were taken out of old military flotation devices. Kipling explains that the Hussars have only recently been reactivated, and they'll be in a "frankly sorry" state until new funding shows up. "However, we operate on the spoils system at least in part, so should we find hemophages... Vampires, that is. Those were always good for good loot in the old days!" He looks wistful as he swerves through traffic -- you're driving in a vaguely southerly direction, in what looks like a derelict office park. "Now, what is your story, please. Not necessarily your life; your -story-. Briefly. Like I said, stories are important. Now, I'm going to operate with the assumption that you are being besieged by an importune teleiad, but our researchers will need to know what it is about ghosts. Ghosts would be very bad. Very, very bad." While you think, Kipling drives into a suburb that looks like it has been all but abandoned for at least as long as you've been alive; traffic is rare. "Teleiads are extremely territorial -- they can't, or don't want to, leave the area where they manifest. As far as we can tell, they're mercenaries, or maybe beasts of burden, they enter an area and start to alter it. They're sort of... terraformers, in a sense. Far as we can tell, of course."

[6/18/2014 1:04:44 AM] Kite: "My story, huh?" Val watches the road, the occult bric-a-brac probably has actual meaning so she probably shouldn't touch it. "No idea, really. They've just... always been there. Whether it's the shrieking spectral woman screaming about her babies, the big guy with the holes in him screaming about death, blood, and/or honour... when I was little, I liked seeing the ghostly little kids. They knew some nifty card games. And brought their own ghostly cards. Was pretty much all that kept me from completely losing my shit the first time I was in hospital for it, since well, I took awhile to learn not to talk about it, and the 'imaginary friend' thing stops holding water when you say, "No, I don't know them, they just show up." Aside from when it was the dead kids, or pranks claiming to be dead kids, it was mostly screaming, wailing, gnashing of teeth, hurling imaginary viscera and gore at me. Pinning me to walls, the occasional attempted strangulation if I tried to call for help. Mostly I'd learned to ignore them, or if they expressed a want I could do something about, humour them and they go away. .... Damn, technically i promised the one today i'd buy it icecream, since it did leave evidence. What kind of icecream is safe for bird-ghost-teleiads?"

[6/18/2014 1:08:13 AM] Kite: "...Actually, is that i REALLY can't eat sausage going to be a problem? i mean, all i know about british food is bangers and mash and.. when you spend a few months draped in seemingly living spectral intestine you can't get rid of, you NEVER want to eat sausage again."

[6/18/2014 1:11:04 AM] M K B: "Ma'am, we fight them, not feed them -- then again, promises are important for this sort of thing. We think; why take chances. We'll irradiate some icecream and have it brought over overnight, and gift a Geiger counter to your previous employers. The expense is minimal, and we have literally hundreds of the things, they've been sitting around for sixty years!" The car stops in front of an immense office building that looks like it was built by a Stalinist architect and not used since the eighties; whatever Chester-Perry Co. made, they haven't made any in a while. Most of the windows are broken; one section, centered around a service door is being cleaned and there is in fact an elderly window cleaner at work on the glass that's still there. "Ah, sausages. That... might be a problem, yes. I suppose we can have.... hamburgers and chips brought in? You wouldn't be the first to ask." Come to think of it, the last non-abandoned building you saw had a McDonald's in it.

[6/18/2014 1:11:15 AM] M K B: (And I am going to have some fun with country stereotypes)

[6/18/2014 1:15:15 AM] Kite: "i'm not aware of any dietary issues other than the actual intestine-cased sausage itself. salamis and the like where the casing is removed prior to immediate preparation for consumption are just fine. as is, well, just about anything NOT involving intestine." Well, they hand out massive gold coins for signing up. That is a fair amount of 'find something else' cushion if this goes bad. "And, thankyou. Yeah, promises... matter. i've seen the ghosts go completely apeshit over broken promises. i don't want to see that again."

[6/18/2014 1:18:50 AM] M K B: The service door is next to a rusted-out lorry gate which, to no particular signal from Kipling, opens by flattening itself on the ground along with the old hinges and the metal poles they were mounted on; the windows wiper comes down from his perch and approaches the car on your side. "I am the viper. I'm here to vipe your vindovs." "Thank you, Vlad. Take her in, I have to give the grand tour to a recruit, such as it is." "As you vish, sir." Vlad opens the door for you -- he looks old but is clearly energetic; his canines are missing. "Our problem, Hanna, is that we haven't got anybody over 25 who isn't also over 65. This entire operation was shut down for the longest time, and we're still struggling to modernise. Still, with you aboard, we can have three squads ready at all times. Well, two and a half, for now, but I have confidence!" Coming?"

[6/18/2014 1:22:21 AM] Kite: Hanna gets up to follow, managing a smirk, "Have to say 26 to the next recruit, if you get someone else this year. ...Why were things shut down?" This place looks like a dump. But, food, board, and payback. Focus on the delicious, brutal vindictive, possibly even torturous payback on being able to put a face to the supposedly single entity responsible for everything i've been through. "You said Teleiads are usuall very territorial... over how MUCH territory? I was shuttled all over the north amaerican continent from hospital to hospital, and been through a fair amount of europe and afica with the film crew..."

[6/18/2014 1:36:56 AM] M K B: "...It's rare that a teleiad decides that a 'territory' is a person, although we've seen them get attached to toys or, in one case, an airplane. If it's actual ghosts..." Rudyard shudders even as he opens the door. You're in the service now, so no more chivalry -- the inside is... well, an office building that has been carefully subject to enough explosions to make room without quite blowing it up. A corner slice of it is as it was, showing you a section view of cubicles and small offices which are missing a fourth and sometimes a third wall; there are old people on typewriters, poring through newspaper clippings some new and some old, and outright throwing stuff down the missing part of their offices; you note that safety railings are being installed. The rest looks like a sabbath of construction equipment. A garage has been set up at the gate, by the look of it where a receiving ramp used to be; there are a few old cars, a couple of new ones, and a WW2-era tank that has a giant array of concave mirrors instead of a turret. A double-decker bus is either being rebuilt or up-armored, you cannot tell. Some parts of the surviving floor plan have been adapted as sleeping areas (that's what it says on the plastic covers for the missing walls anyway), the office mess hall is being put back together by the simple expedient of tossing the worst-off half of it and rewelding what's left to the structural walls, and a seventies-looking geodesic dome has been built in the open space. There's enough room and various crap here to build a giant robot, if you don't mind it looking like it came out of the Crimson Permanent Assurance short film. There's also a circular hole in the ceiling, which explains why a miniature Concorde airplane -- or is it a big jet fighter? -- is sitting on a vertical launch ramp under it. A flying crane has been improvised by welding steel cables to the building's inside upper corners and some clever pulley work. Most of the people you see around are.... well, old; lots of bald heads and lots of white hair. A large woman with red dress and red dye on her on her curls huffs and puffs to bring Rudyard a cup of tea. "Thank you, love. Run along now! As you see, it's all here; your sleeping quarters are over there" he points "and you'll probably not have a bunk mate for a while. Now, take a few moments to put your stuff down and..." And of course that's when the alarm, an old air raid siren, sounds.

[6/18/2014 1:41:01 AM] M K B: "OI! TURN THAT OFF! WE GOT THE IDEA ALREADY!"

[6/18/2014 1:42:25 AM] Kite: "Well, i don't actually have much in the way of stuff, lifelong poltergeist haunting teaches you not to keep anything you're not willing to nail dow-... what does that alarm mean?" She's shellshocked byt he lot of it, she'd expected an organization handing out gold coins to look, well, richer. In the meantime until someone DOES turn it off, she's half-covering her hears because she DOES want an answer on the 'what does that mean' and if that means she'll be learning how to fight Teleiads the 'quick way'.

[6/18/2014 1:50:13 AM] M K B: "IT MEANS WE GOT A CONTACT! IT ALSO MEANS WE HAVEN'T GOT THE NEW ALARMS WIRED IN YET!" Someone eventually turns the damn thing of; a wiry man with an aquiline nose and a ridiculous comb-over hands a paper file to Rudyard. "So, we've got a.... werewolf... out in the peat, brilliant.... but oh, that's a lot of dead rabbis, isn't it.... oh, wait, RABBITS! We need proper computers in this mess, you know, ones with displays.... So! Can you shoot? Val?"

[6/18/2014 1:51:07 AM] M K B: Rudyard tells the man to tell Pinky to get ready.

[6/18/2014 1:59:04 AM] M K B: (miw sry if not interesting)

[6/18/2014 2:02:29 AM] Kite: (actually, too interesting, i realized iw as 2 hours late for when i was supposed to wake Mastress, so i had to run off and do that Right Away. *hugs* back now, very sorry about that)

"Can i shoot? Because they're trust poltergeist-girl with a gun to find out? Hell if i know, but i'll certainly try to learn fast!" Werewolf?!?! Well, time to find out if she can just be nonchalant about one of those from so long with the ghosts....

[6/18/2014 2:06:08 AM] M K B: "Where wolf? There wolf!" He points to a faded Army map that has been handed to him, with a X on it. "Has become a thing again, yes! I hope we get the internet soon in here, I need to find out what the devil an otherkin is. Anyway, it's a spot-and-shoot, Pinky will explain on the way! Get into the plane, there's some equipment under the ramp!"

[6/18/2014 2:06:22 AM] M K B: (OOC: Would rather spot/talk, or shoot?)

[6/18/2014 2:08:16 AM] Kite: (hm.. she'd probably be better at talking since she's experienecd at just no-selling 'yes yes, you're an abomination beyond mortal ken. and?' but she'd WANT to shoot because yeah)

[6/18/2014 2:09:14 AM] Kite: Hanna scrambles into the plane, griping "You -really- don't want to know what an otherkin is!" as she grabs a satchel and climbs aboard to strap in. she can go through teh bag of gear once the acceleration stops.

[6/18/2014 2:09:15 AM] M K B: (Up to you, is OOC call! Whatd be more fun?)

[6/18/2014 2:09:39 AM] Kite: (hmm. spot/talk, i think?)

[6/18/2014 2:12:05 AM] Kite: (i don't know. can't decide >.>)

[6/18/2014 2:17:31 AM] M K B: The plane is.... well, vertical. In the sense that it's being held up vertically. Under it is a very thoroughly burned, roughly star-shaped area, probably from the engienes. At the edge of that are school desks that have been assembled into something resembling tables, there's stuff on them -- if you were expecting James Bond, this ain't it; there are helmets with crystal radios on them, bandanas with crystal radios on them, pistols that look exactly like the one pistol that Nazi officers have in movies (seriously, you can even still see the swastika on some of them when it wasn't filed off completely), standard stuff like binoculars, and for some reason a cardboard box full of modern slingshots. There's a big bag of bullets and a much smaller bag with a sign saying PLEASE MARK DOWN TALLY, of silver bullets. You're quickly joined by a fat man with child-molester mustache, red hair, and a black t-shirt with a japanese kanji on it that you recognize for some food item, that smells like... actually it smells like disinfectant. "Heyo! I'm Pinky! Close combat! I get to spot for you today since these old farts haven't GIVEN ME BACK MY KATANA YET! First mission for you?" The airplane pilot climbs into the cockpit -- with some assistance -- and tells both of you to get your stuff ready and get into the crew compartment.

[6/18/2014 2:18:10 AM] M K B: Apparently the plane is of model CF-105 and is named Mother Hen.

[6/18/2014 2:21:48 AM] Kite: A slingshot... odd to see, but that's more workable. Sometimes pinking things out of the air was the only way to bring a poltergeisting to an end, since what THOSE ghosts seemed to want was to break everything. And then for her to take the blame for it. Helmet dounds good. Pistol would be stupid to not take, but slingshot too. "Call me Val. Yeah, I just got here. I only found out a few hours ago that i might not be insane." And i'm not at all sure about anyone else here on the sanity thing. And any expectations of james bond died with the dying building. the gate was pretty cool, though.

[6/18/2014 2:26:34 AM] M K B: The crew compartment is incredibly cramped, and has six of those pod chairs that were in Men in Black. They're a little too small, and the vinyl inside is very yielding -- there's some sort of liquid or gel for padding, or at least that's what it feels like. "Third mission for me! This is gonna be good! The first two were false alarms!" You can let yourself sink in, or not, really.

[6/18/2014 2:27:00 AM] M K B: "EARPLUGS ON! PREFLIGHT CHECK IN PROGRESS!"

[6/18/2014 2:28:04 AM] Kite: There weren't earplugs on the table. Where are the earplugs?! Oh, here in the seat. That's good planning. Earplugs on is an order that is obeyed immediately. The screaming she's used to doesn't need ears anyway. "...You are a clsoe combat specialist with no close combat weapon and you are GLAD to see a real werewolf?"

[6/18/2014 2:28:44 AM] Kite: Relax as much as possible. Bigger force than you. Don't fight. Let it ride. Don't fight it. Let it ride. sink into the padding, that's what it's there fore, probably.

[6/18/2014 2:32:28 AM] M K B: SHHUNK! Looks like the padding was some sort of air pressure thing, and the jets are generating a vacuum! You're engulfed by the pod chair, with just your legs and hands sticking out -- there's just a bit of dimple in front of your mouth, nose and right eye for you to breath through, not that the eye part matters since it's nearly pitch black. "We're going semiballistic, but can make a normal landing. You'll have to walk for the last kilometer or so." Pinky is ranting on that he's excited about meeting an actual animal-person and he's sure they're not at all bad and in fact they're probably better than regular people.

[6/18/2014 2:34:24 AM] Kite: Val says nothing to Pinky, because mostly she wants to punch the shit out of him until he stops talking. Then again, maybe a werewolf will be better company than a Teleiad and it's sense of humour ruining her every desperate hope for a normal life. ...It had better make a convincing case quickly if so, because she really wanted to hurt someone. The relief of realizing she wasn't insane was fading face, replaced by a burning fury at having been used as a cheap joke her whole life.

[6/18/2014 2:39:45 AM] M K B: Pinky seems content with letting himself talk! The bit about his Exalted character was interesting-ish until it became clear that the game was basically furry ERP for people who are ashamed to call it furry ERP. You land vertically, meaning you drop out of the sky and then there's a WHOOSH and you weigh a ton for about five seconds and the pod chairs stop suctioning you and the small door opens. Pinky kicks a few times, stands up, hits his head on the roof of the compartment, and sort of flops out.

[6/18/2014 2:42:36 AM] Kite: Val sort of collapses forward onto the deck, one hand over her stomach to try to quell it before getting shakily to her feet. She ought to feel bad about about being resolved that Pinky can definitely be the 'close combat specialist' if she needs time to run away from a werewolf that's too much to handle. She ought to, but doesn't. "So... it's the two of us, and a werewolf roughly a kilometer thattaway, then?"

[6/18/2014 2:43:47 AM] M K B: (Hey, you just need to be faster than the fat guy)

[6/18/2014 2:47:50 AM] M K B: This would be a perfect picture of idyllic British countryside except that, of course, it's raining. Light rain, though, and no fog. "Apparently we've gotta check out a rabbit warren over there" looks like he got the how-to-read-ancient-army-maps course, at least "now before you shoot, I want to talk to this thing, maybe it's all a big misunderstanding and hey incidentally do you have a spirit animal?" For gear, it looks like he got just the slingshot and helmet. As for why there was no body armor available... at all... you'd think they would at least have flak jackets or something, no?

[6/18/2014 2:49:19 AM] M K B: hxxp://www.spartaindependent.com/storyimage/SI /20130515/NEWS01/130519974/AR/0/AR-130519974.jpg&q=100&maxw=550&maxh=500 Least you're going to get a nice walk out of it, if it's a false alarm...

[6/18/2014 2:50:58 AM] Kite: "Spirits, i'm used to. The only animal involved was the spectral head of a dog that chewed at my stomach and organs for three days and nights before vomiting up a picture of the dark side of the moon." Val lets hostility drip from every single word as they walk. She also practices at least sighting down the barrel of the pistol. "But if you want to talk to the big hairy monster, be my guest. You're the 'senior field agent' with triple my experience."

[6/18/2014 2:54:58 AM] M K B: Pinky looks around. "... You know, maybe we should've brought a steak or something." He sounds a lot less chipper. Finding the big hairy monster -- which turns out to be about your size, really, only a lot hairier and happily cleaning itself after having made a mess of a brown bunny -- was surprisingly easy; whatever disorganization the Hussars have to contend with, they're getting good tips. You're upwind, even! There's a hedge to hide behind, a few trees to climb, or you could just waagh it. Pinky stops. "Oh em gee, she's so kawaii!"

[6/18/2014 2:56:10 AM] Kite: "There's your hairball, dances-with-werewolves." Val drops to one knee, and takes aim. "You have until my patience runs out. So unless something good comes of talking, and quickly? Not long."

[6/18/2014 3:02:38 AM] M K B: "Oh come on, look at her! She's all cute and yellow and..." Pinkie advances. What you see is a large brown-black mix between a dog and a small gorilla, wearing manacles. Pinky waves like an idiot, walking at a surprisingly brisk pace. "Hellooo! Who's a good puppy? Yes you are, yes you are!"

[6/18/2014 3:04:53 AM] Kite: Cute and yellow? ...But the manacles... so, it was held captive by someone. Why? For being a monster, or just for looking like one? Some of the fury drains away, remembering the straps in the hospitals. The screaming and flailing because all she could imagine wanting was some peace and quiet... He can have a minute. If it demonstrates the ability to speak, AND the ability to think rationally, which likely means refusing to engage with Pinky, then, well, sometimes girl talk gets to the heart of a problem.

[6/18/2014 3:10:43 AM] M K B: No, it's not at all cute and yellow to you, it's brown and black and matted and clearly bloody. And you didn't catch what Pinky said to it (her?). The reaction is a bear-like mauling that probably could have taken a good pound of flesh and two of flab off Pinky's side. He's still alive, and raises a hand feebly calling "medic" before passing out. The critter looks at you and bares a LOT of teeth, but you're far enough away that it can't just pounce at you. It seems conflict between charging you or jumping behind something. It raises its tail at you. This "werewolf" doesn't seem to have a lot of wolf in it, as such; looks more like a mix of creatures.

[6/18/2014 3:13:10 AM] Kite: "So!" Val shouts, "Let's try this again! Gun goes bang. Bullet goes fast! And i'll bet faster than you! If you understand me and don't want that severely impaired by a piece of hot metal ricoheting around the inside of your brainpan, give me a reason not to! You have five seconds to comply!"

[6/18/2014 3:16:21 AM] M K B: The critter's face shifts subtly from carnivore to primate, and you see a number of things going on in its eyes -- fear, aggression, some trace of human understanding, even. Aggression wins out. "RAWR!" Now you've got something that looks like the terror dog from Ghostbusters, except half the size and minus the horns, charging at you. Definitely doggier head now. Looks like the one from your nightmares, only a lot less ghostly.

[6/18/2014 3:19:53 AM] Kite: And that's all Val needs to do her utmost to empty this pistol into its face to the best of her ability. A flicker of humanity? Humans are perfectly capable of doing horrible things. And Val? She does whatever she has to do. Given she's discharging a firearm for the first time, and attempting to do so repeatedly, it's probably a good thing she has earplugs in.

[6/18/2014 3:25:19 AM] M K B: For a moment your nightmare is real -- you feel the beast's breath, its fangs going for your stomach! And then it flumps on the ground, twitches twice, and stops moving. This sort of gun is supposed to have nine shots, you've only heard eight bangs, and the werewolf has four holes in it -- not bad. Rather than blood, there's hissing foam. The overall shape looks a lot more humanoid with the hair down, but it doesn't look like it'll just revert back -- if it ever even was human. A little further away, Pinky is trying to roll over. (OOC: How dark do you want this?)

[6/18/2014 3:26:35 AM] Kite: ((well, we were trying to avoid grimdark, which is why we didn't dive back into the game that still doesn't have any kind of useful handle-name))

[6/18/2014 3:28:59 AM] Kite: "You shouldn't have called my bluff, one bitch to another." I don't know if there's anything still breathing in there to hear that. I don't know if i should put the last bullet into the head to try to make sure. ...See if Pinky's stil human or turning into one first, I guess. Better head over and try to keep him from bleeding out. "Pressure on the wound. Don't suppose we've got medical supplies? Trauma kit? I'm guessing you'd love some morphine right now, but don't make a habit of it."

[6/18/2014 3:31:54 AM] M K B: Pinky slowly gets up, looks at you, looks at the creature, and yelps in fear. "There's TWO? Where did the other one go?" He's bleeding, but looks like the extra flab served him well; the claw marks look more like he fell three times playing street soccer, rather than an animal mauling. Mostly, he seems in shock.

[6/18/2014 3:33:42 AM] Kite: "That's your 'cute yellow puppy'. Looked like this the whole time, to me. Incidentally, they tell you how to confirm one of thse is dead?" Val isn't sure she likes feeling this... cold inside. And yet, she wasn't afraid. Then again, she's lived and relived horrors and mutilation repeatedly, even if it was only -physically- happening inside her head. It takes a lot to scare her now.

[6/18/2014 3:37:02 AM] M K B: Pinky blinks, runs towards the body, lifts a paw. Starts bawwwing like an idiot, stops. Stands up, kicks its head. "Blargh. I'm a big fat idiot, aren't I?" The creature seems to be well and truly dead.

[6/18/2014 3:39:15 AM] Kite: "Yes. This is probably why they didn't give you your katana back. But if you take up an aerobics regime and get to the point where you could probably use it effectively, they will. Big can be good. Fat and Idiot are both fixable. ...Hell, they gave me a gun. Pick up an arm and start dragging this carcass back to the plane. That IS how we get back, right?"

[6/18/2014 3:47:11 AM] M K B: "Ay, it is, only the last time there was no cloud cover so we ended up taking the train back. Got hassled by the fuzz, what with the guns and so on, but they made a phone call and away it went." To his credit, Pinky is doing his share of the dragging. "I just... See, this is why these things are dangerous." He smacks his temple. "They mess with your heid. All of them. What I was explained is, doctrine is always send three people out, and if there's doubt, vote on what you're seeing. Bit hard to do with these radios, they're receive only, it's just for the guy on the plane to tell us what goes on from the sky, but apparently new stuff doesn't work. You've heard of people go off dance with the fairies, right? Die of dehydration, they blame it on happy pills, but what when there ain't no pills!" His sigh is actually wistful. "She looked really cute, said she wanted me to give her a home, then - I didn't even feel it, I just sort of passed out!" He points at his stomach. If he'd dreamed anything, he's not sharing other than looking either embarassed or ashamed. The manacles, upon closer inspection, look like they were improvised out of farm door hinges.

[6/18/2014 3:47:44 AM] M K B: You notice that, in fact, your gun's magazine only has room for eight rounds.

[6/18/2014 3:50:21 AM] Kite: "No, i haven't heard of things like that. I've been.. fairly sheltered. I wonder why i just saw it as it was right away...?" Val looks away. If there IS more than one, they're dragging a bloody carcass around as a great big 'free lunch' sign. "Stop. Let me reload." Which takes a bit to figure out. "So... how did they find you? How'd you get recruited to this mess?"

[6/18/2014 3:55:16 AM] M K B: Did you see it as it was? Now it looks like a very hairy Neanderthal with a tail. Earlier it looked like a wolf, a bear... Still same theme, but the details shifted. Reloading, you find out that the space used by the 9th bullet is occupied by a ceramic block over which is imprinted a number of runic signs, and a swastika that has been partially covered by a "do not erase" adhesive label, in English. Pinky explains that he used to be into the whole rave scene, pointing out with inordinate pride that he was a roadie, and did see a few people, mostly either "chicks or she-boys" as he puts it, actually go off dancing with the fairies. He was recruited on the trip from the police station to the mental hospital.

[6/18/2014 3:56:51 AM] M K B: Dragging the critter to the airplane takes a bit longer than going the other way, but it looks like there aren't any other supernatural enemies... you do spot someone biking up a parallel trail, but he doesn't seem to have seen you. "Well come on! I'm not going to climb down and help you unless I have to, you know!" That was from the plane's cockpit.

[6/18/2014 4:01:30 AM] Kite: Val feels.... more than a little justified in her initial dislike of Pinky. Still, now he's seen the animal, he might be inclined to grow up and pay more attention. "Kipling found me working as tech support for a fraudulent paranormal investigator in the hopes that seeing lots of faked ghosts would make me stop seeing the apparently real ones." Well, it could be worse. at least the rain is keeping the smell down and keeping themf rom getting sweaty. Though she is SO going to want a shower to get the blood off when they get back. "Well, given that the training i've had so far was chagrin that i can't eat sausage, and yet i've managed to kill a werewolf, the least you can do is tell me where to stow the body so it doesn't gush all over your nice clean plane when you take off!"

[6/18/2014 4:07:23 AM] M K B: "Er, on that... Apparently they're still sorting that out. They said they'd fix that next week, two weeks ago." The flight lasts for ten minutes, which is ten minutes of wet dog smell too long; at least someone else is going to have to clean the pod seat up, and being there's only two of you, neither had to sit next to it. A very matronly nurse is waiting outside when you go back to base, there were three stretchers ready - two are quickly occupied by the body and Pinky, who insists he's fine, but has to be checked for contamination anyway. Rudyard is waiting for you, and claps slowly. "Debrief later, showers that way" he points. Looks like that's one of the first rooms that got renovated, so there's that!"

[6/18/2014 4:10:04 AM] Kite: Val nods mutely, and heads straight there. the drying werewolf blood soaked into her clothes and ground against her skin by the pressure of the pod, as soon as she shower is in sight she just starts dropping things to the floor, not a single thoguht given that anyone might see her as articles of clothing start following suit. just hot stingingly hot water and lot sand lots of steam. She killed something today. Something that probably used to be someone, might still have been someone. If she hadn't, it would've killed her. And yet... her only moment of hesitation in the slaughter had been 'you have five seconds to comply.'.... Well, at least it suggested she'd be good at her new job.

[6/18/2014 4:15:22 AM] M K B: The showers feature the horrible British aberration of having separate faucets for hot and cold water -- fortunately someone already passed by with copper tubing and a welding torch; the result is ugly but very serviceable. Someone wrote "Always be aware of where your towel is" above the towel rack. You get out of the shower to find your clothing missing, and some sort of uniform - slightly too big, and visibly quite old, in the sense that it looks like a machine wash would ter it to shreds -- at least the undergarments are modern. The uniform itself looks like WW2-era formal uniform, with a bit too many red accents for good camo and all rank and insignia removed. "Put this on and don't raise your hand above your head for now! We've almost got the laundry room wired up, you'll get your stuff back tomorrow! That's why nobody salutes! Hah, what a disgrace!" The voice is female, old, and crotchety.

[6/18/2014 4:18:24 AM] Kite: "Gameboy in the left front pocket. if it goes through the wash i WILL murder whoever's responsible. Fire and water's the only things that'll kill those, after all." despite saying this, Val does attempt to dry off and get dressed without further complaint. "How's pinky holding up? Seemed to be bleeding a lot at first but it had almost stopped by the time we were back at the plane and that means one of two things."

[6/18/2014 4:20:37 AM] M K B: "Yes ma'am! That'd be the videogame thing, yes?" You hear Rudyard's voice next. "Ou he's just a big baby, he is. Still going to keep him in observation for a few days. Getting bit by a werewolf - they're not strong enough to make you one, but make you think you're one? That'll happen, and it's almost as bad. Did he talk your ear off about mad things, too?"

[6/18/2014 4:20:59 AM] M K B: The uniform is a little bit too large, but beats being to small, and the general impression is actually fairly classy.

[6/18/2014 4:24:35 AM] Kite: "He got clawed, not bit, as far as i could see. As soon as he got clawed I started screaming at it, it hesitated, then charged me, and I shot it until it stopped moving. I thought I had a bullet left when I stopped. lucky I didn't need it. And yeah, he spouted off a bit. Getting opened up by 'the big yellow puppy' probably woke him up a bit. ...I didn't feel anything when I killed it, Sir. No fear, no anger, no passion... nothing but a cold 'you have chosen death.' Is that... normal?"

[6/18/2014 4:29:13 AM] M K B: "No, it really isn't. That's why you're here you see. You're past freaking out. Pinky, not quite. Most people, including me -- not at all. Finding someone who can keep their head level around otherworldly things, not enough to just blank them out, but enough to not panic or get swept up - it's hard. And most of those types never quite make screening for the armed forces, wonder why." Rudyard smiles under his abundant mustache. "We'd send out proper soldier types, otherwise, you know? Well, the other matter is, a lot of stuff just - doesn't work. Cell phones, most radios, no go. Pretty much every gun made in the last two hundred years, no go -- these pistols were... confiscated and handed to us at the end of World War 2. Replace any part with anything modern, they stop working -- we started with three gross, we've got about fifty left, I shudder to think what when we're out."

[6/18/2014 4:33:58 AM] M K B: hxxps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExZ0i04pSeY kittywig

[6/18/2014 4:35:23 AM] Kite: "If I don't get some food soon, I'll probably frreak out for an entirely different reason." Val forces a smile, "But, why do these work then? They're only, what, eighty years old at the most?" She finds herself starting to shake. Tormented for ghosts for decades and it makes her the perfect person to hunt and kill the things that make them? It was some kind of twisted cosmic joke... just like everything else. "Whatever. If I can help with that it'll be when I've got my feet under me. ...That's why the drop point was a kilometer away, wasn't it? The plane w ouldn't work any closer? ...and they don't cause this problem while they're dead?"

[6/18/2014 4:40:47 AM] M K B: "This particular plane does a lot better than anything else we've tried, but yes, in a nutshell. The drop can be made closer, in an emergency, just... you know, jet plane on vertical landing, you're probably happy with all the bits and bobs in it working properly." Rudyard leads you through the open floor and to one of the elevators that go up where the office building is still intact. "Being hungry after a mission is normal. You'll need sugar, so!" The mess hall is mostly empty, save for two people still welding the counters; on a table is a spread of every item in the McDonald's non-breakfast menu. Rudyard smiles sheepishly, which looks very creepy with his facial hair. "Not sure what you wanted, we sort of thew you into things, and I felt bad." There is also a lot of traditional british candies, some of which you assume either have been in here since the 40s, or just look like that when they're made. "Your brain has been grinding against itself quite a bit, so you need glucose. Eat up and don't worry about the leftovers, someone'll gob them up, that always happens when anyone goes out for a meal, for some reason."

[6/18/2014 4:41:48 AM] M K B: Rudyard writes something in your file, which you can't see, and in Pinkie's file, which you can see and turns out to be "Deprioritise against animal shifters, nature spirits"

[6/18/2014 4:42:06 AM] M K B: "addendum: get the kid laid at some point"

[6/18/2014 4:43:01 AM] M K B: "Now, our A squad had to alt-return, so they'll be out for two more days, depending on whether the check clears with the travel agency... Do you have any questions?"

[6/18/2014 4:47:16 AM] Kite: "Mostly just what I can do to help when it's not time to go kill something, really. I mean, I can probably help with the wiring, rigging up the stupid hoax shit wasn't easy, after all." oh hells she's hungry enough that a banquet spread of McDonald's smells good. Well, start with the nuggets first, at least by law they're verifiably actual chicken meat these days. "And, well, you mentioned hinting down the fucker that's been screwing with me my whole life. How do I start doing that? Hell, what do I do if, or more likely, WHEN I have an episode here? I'm used to them happened at least twice a week. And... thanks. Maybe it's crazy, but, I feel good about this."

[6/18/2014 4:52:47 AM] M K B: "If you have an episode, it means we've got actual ghosts to contend with, and that's... very bad. Teleiads are annoying, but largely harmless -- you being an exception, it seems -- but they definitely disassociate with estabilishments like this and the state of mind they have historically represented. Again, they are sort of canaries, indicator of approaching larger problems. As for what you can do to help..." Rudyard looks around, and drops to a stage whisper. "The workshop lads are keen and all, but none of us are spring chicken. Could you give us a hand for setting up the internet, maybe something better than paper files? Most of the boffins I've tried to recruit flat out quit after seeing this place, and we've lost a lot of information due to poor filing. Doesn't help that more than half of it is in German and covered in propaganda."

[6/18/2014 4:56:42 AM] Kite: "Unless it's one that considers me its territory, which means its territory is inside your territory. Well, we'll see what happens. And sure. Lemme have a crack at things. Keeping myself from going more insane with boredom in the hospitals i learned a fair bit of juryrigging. Got a petty-cash budget and directions to the local equivalent of a Fry's? i ought to be able to set up an OCR feed-rig and database from scratch for about a grand, less depending on what's already here, then somebody who knows german can work on translating it."

[6/18/2014 5:02:10 AM] M K B: "Fries? You mean chips? Oh, an electronics shop! There's a Currys nearby, sure..." Rudyard explains that the problem with the Thule-Gesellshaft records is, while they are slightly more complete than the Hussars', translating them seems to shift the reader's political views quite far "back and to the right", as he puts it, in direct proportion to knowing the language. "I'm not proud to admit it, but last year's efforts have turned three quite cunning linguists into deplorable skinheads. So I've given the job to three of my dad's mates and a dictionary, people of proven loyalty since they were in the war, but - you know, they're in their nineties, they're starting to go a little."

[6/18/2014 5:04:09 AM] Kite: "...Make it a grand and a half and i can download a local instance of google translate to a second box, to do the basic machine translation, then we torch the spontaneously nazified AI, and read the documents in broken english on the clean box?"

[6/18/2014 5:04:44 AM] Kite: "Technology works in here, right, just not around the critters themselves?"

[6/18/2014 5:05:06 AM] M K B: "Absolutely! We're just very short on funds, this meal was about ten percent of our petty cash..."

[6/18/2014 5:05:44 AM] M K B: Rudyard blinks. "Blimey! Computers can do that? I thought they just showed it on the telly. Do you think you could get one of those image enhancing programs, too?"

[6/18/2014 5:06:56 AM] M K B: Whatever they've been serving around here, there's already a few of the workers discreetly hovering around your table for when you're done. Admittedly the meat is slightly better than American McD's, in the sense that there is more of it per thing.

[6/18/2014 5:07:02 AM] M K B: (which is true, btw)

[6/18/2014 5:08:11 AM] Kite: "Those really are bullshit, i'm afraid. Image enhancement exists but it takes a skilled person 20-40 hours per image and comprehensive knowledge of what they're looking for." Val is continuing to eat rather heavily, but she's not going to overeat, she only ends up having roughly a meal and a half, maybe two meals worth of food before she stops completely. "Translation is basically, well, three of your dad's mates and a dictionary. but instead, it's several thousand of your dad's mates and a dictionary, jammed into a tiny box."

[6/18/2014 5:09:48 AM] Kite: "Is there a mystical reason we can't pawn the gold coins for operational budget?"

[6/18/2014 5:12:42 AM] M K B: "Sort of. That's payroll, which is handled by the Royal Air Force. You need to get the money from the physical plant budget, which for various historical and plausible deniability reasons is handled by the Royal Naval Air Service which, alas, has not existed since 1918."

[6/18/2014 5:13:40 AM] M K B: "You may facepalm now, of course. Or at any time, really, I'm saving military etiquette for when we have uniforms that don't disintegrate if you look at them funny."

[6/18/2014 5:14:24 AM] *** M K B sent IMG_20140616_224911.jpg IMG_20140616_224911.jpg ***

[6/18/2014 5:14:37 AM] M K B: (warning, image is apparently disturbing)

[6/18/2014 5:14:50 AM] Kite: "No, i mean, take the literal gold coin you handed me... four hours ago? five? and however many more of them are in the building, do some research on various collectors and the like, sell them to a wide variety of said collectors at roughly the same time so that they all come into circulation too fast for the price to drop, and then have however much that gets us in fast cash to make things work now, to b etter be able to hunt in the immediate future?"

[6/18/2014 5:15:50 AM] Kite: (does seem odd seeing you with a pornstache, but i don't know why one would say 'disturbing')

[6/18/2014 5:16:19 AM] M K B: (it freaked Dee out enough that i got rid of it early, intention was to take some silly pics first, instead of just the one)

[6/18/2014 5:17:07 AM] M K B: "Again, I would love to, but we can't do that! The budget situation has been a giant mess! Frankly, part of why we went to war with the Thule Society was to, so as to put it bluntly, get into their castles and take their loot! That lasted us well into the nineteen sixties, but well."

[6/18/2014 5:17:54 AM] M K B: "Fortuitously, they were trying to.... implement... the Nordic Gods, so we ended up catching two birds with one stone, there."

[6/18/2014 5:22:45 AM] Kite: Val shrugs, "Okay, then yes, i can do the things you want with the database and probably the internet. But they'll need money for parts, unless we're allowed to 'loot' those." don't twitch. You're just imagining it. They said it can't happen here. It's just force of habit, you're USED to seeing things when stressed and nothing's ever been just a flicker in the corner of the eyes before.e

[6/18/2014 5:23:24 AM] M K B: Elsewhere, a stern but motherly voice says "No, young man, you nearly got mauled! You need to recover! No fast food for you, there's a nice plate of proper liver in the oven for you, and you'll like it!"

[6/18/2014 5:25:38 AM] M K B: "My understanding is that hemophage coves are an excellent strategic target in that sense. Vampires seem to have some sort of collecting instinct. For now... I think we can just about manage for the translation machine. See why we need younger workers, though! We've all come out of retirement for this." Rudyard does not miss your flinching. "Sorry, is everything all right?"

[6/18/2014 5:27:57 AM] Kite: "Thought I saw something. Not sure. It's never been subtle before. But the flicker was the right colour. Bone white. Not porcelain, not tile, not plaster, bone. You learn to recognize it instantly after awhile. from my current facing, would be 10 o'clock high, if anything's there."

[6/18/2014 5:32:05 AM] M K B: "We'll have to study this -- as soon as we're properly set up to study things, that is. For now, we have a bit of a home remedy." Rudyard hails one of the lunch ladies who are trying to rebuild the missing half of the mess halls. "Mary, do you mind putting glamour shields in her quarters? I think one layer will suffice." "But it'll smell of glue for half a day, how will she be able to sleep!" "We'll sort it out. In the meantime, Currys should be open for an hour or two, I think? How big is the translation computer."

[6/18/2014 5:33:45 AM] M K B: Very quickly, you see a line of workers -- mostly men, athough Mary is at their head -- carry dusty folder towards the barracks section. Rudyard smiles. "Purchasing report archives from when Chester-Perry Co. was still in operation. Can't think of anything more boring myself. Line the walls wth those, it'd be an odd teleiad indeed who'll remain in your vicinity."

[6/18/2014 5:34:39 AM | Edited 5:34:45 AM] Kite: "Doesn't have to be big. But it'll be cheaper if it is. I'll need to see what you've already got first, will let me know what i can cannabalize. Heh. Didn't think i'd be using the skills i learned cobbling shit together for the fraud brigade here. And... if it works, i won't complain. Smell of glue's got to be better than the smell of layering a dozne antibiotics and cleaners over each other"

[6/18/2014 5:34:58 AM] Kite: Val stands up from the table, indicating she's definitely done eating and ready to get back to work.

[6/18/2014 5:39:55 AM] M K B: Rudyard takes you into the geodesic dome -- if everything else looks like the aftermath of a demolition, this is just... still. And dusty. And vaguely reminiscent of a Star Trek set, the old series. There's an autopsy table, a morgue-style cold cell, an electron microscope that was probably state of the art back then, and the computer that the kid in Wargames had, or something very close to it. Most of this stuff probably even still works, the problem being that there's nobody who knows how to work it. "When I was a lad I thought there'd be one of these in every workshop, to keep things organized!" Rudyard says, tapping the ancient computer; the blinkenlights are in fact running. "But no, we sold the workshops to the Japs, they sold them to the Chinese, and who knows what'll come next. Still, at least two and two still make four, eh? Now of course, the point of all of this is to make sure that remains the case. Is there anything in here you can use?"

[6/18/2014 5:40:28 AM] M K B: hxxps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExZ0i04pSeY kittywig~

[6/18/2014 5:43:10 AM] M K B: (miw, this is mostly what i got s ofar, and kinda bout to splat, watcha thin?)

[6/18/2014 5:43:19 AM] Kite: (i'm having lots and lots of fun, thankyou *huggles*)

[6/18/2014 5:43:46 AM] Kite: (*nuzzlesnuggles* i hope you is hasing fun too?)

[6/18/2014 5:44:19 AM] M K B: (ya. also needing to look up a lot of britishisms which i haven't heard in ten years. alsothoughts? also kittywig)

[6/18/2014 5:46:05 AM] Kite: (kittywig is... strange. and thoughts is.. odd. i'm having more trouble keeping IC and OOC knowledge separate than i usually do. i'm not sure why.)

[6:40:23 PM] M K B: <mike nelson>And we're back!</mike nelson> You don't know what's odder - the fact that the money for server hardware is found partly by Kipling standing under the wireframe globe and shouting "Oi! Pocket change!", the fact that the floor around him gets pelted with coins without any hitting him (he actually manages to catch a one-pount coin from the air), or the fact that there is very little grumbling about it. "Will you be needing the lorry, then?"

[6:41:57 PM] Kite: "Depends how far away the Curry's is. if it's wahlking distance, i'll look more desperate with just a hand-trolley, and the twerp behind the counter will think they've got an easy mark." i stare at the pile of change with some degree of awe. "ESPECIALLY if i'm carrying in a bag of jangling coins."

[6:47:12 PM] M K B: "But they'll think you a vagrant!" It's fairly obvious that Rudyard has no idea how big the equipment is. The store turns out to be about a mile away (people in this particular office building haven't really ever bothered switching to metric) and more or less on the edge of the abandoned office park. "Now do be careful, we've countermeasures to keep the spookies out, as I hope you'll get to appreciate tonight, but that means they tend to congregate right outside. Will you be wanting an escort?"

[6:52:01 PM] Kite: Kite sighs slightly and counts to ten "Yes Sir. They will think me a vagrant, and a psychotic, as i'm wandering in with a trolley and a bag of mixed coins, while wearing a uniform that's military styled but they do not recognize. This will cause him to act in certain ways which, having previously been treated as a psychotic for a large number of years, i have learned to utilize to best effect." Hannah pauses and considers things slowly. "Escort to the gates might be good, then. It'll be important for the ruse i at least look alone, and while i stayed mostly calm facing the wereworlf... it was visible. Though i'll also need to count up all the coins, as well. i need to know how much i'm taking in, even if i'll jumble them up after to screw with the clerk's head."

[6:59:58 PM] M K B: "Very well! I shall observe your ruse with utmost interest!" You're treated to the spectacle of an old man pushing an ancient shopping cart and loudly counting coins while, somehow, appearing dignified in doing so. The counting takes all the trip to the store to get done properly; surprisingly, you've about fifteen hundred pounds between yourselves. The neighborhood doesn't look dilapidated so much as disused; it's odd that even the greater London area would have so much real estate sort of left by itself -- the lack of public transportation probably explains part of it. The store looks like it's been last renewed in the late nineties, although most of the merchandise is current; surprisingly, there are customers, although the small and older cars indicate they probably don't have much money to spend. Rudyard stares down the (rigorously unarmed, save for a truncheon) security guard who was obviously thinking of telling the two of you to go away. Did Rudyard's mustache untwirl by itself for a moment? There's a very faint laugh behind you, of the sort you're all too familiar with.

[7:00:48 PM] M K B: hxxp://www.hinowa.com/scheda.asp?idprod=250&idpadrerif=21 MINI TANK!

[7:09:11 PM] Kite: And the laugh helps Hanna 'get into character'. Twist up inside and let all the old anger flow through her spine and down her limbs, creating the spastic little tics and twitches that people associate with insanity of all kinds even if it really only happens with a few. Plastering on the brittle false smile of hollow cheerfulness stretched too tight, a grinning rictus that says 'too many drugs, and not only will they not be arrested for having them, but the cops will insist they take -more- if anyone complains'. Plastic and hollow with hunted eyes. And in such visage approaching the counter, and the hapless clerk trapped within. "Hi~~ii" she stretches it out just a little too far for comfort. "I'm re~eeally not good at any of this el-ek-trik stuff, but my boss is even -worse- so i was wondering if you coule he~~elp me, mister?" dart eyes around while talking, unfocussed, unattentive, then lock straight onto his as soon as she finishes to silently -demand- a reply. And of course, know he's facing the twin want and horror of seeing a shopping cart full of money, and dreading -counting- a shopping cart full of money.

[7:15:20 PM] M K B: Given that you look likely to swipe something, you end up with two people asking you what you're looking for. The place overall looks ordinary, the clientele being mostly old but given the time of day most people are at work. Some obnoxious woman with a "council house facelift" hairdo has seized your arrival as her chance to get her two kids to glomp one of the game consoles being demoed, since the person urging her to make a purchase is now paying attention to you. The place is, if anything, overstocked; you can still get netbooks, and they're pratically throwing them out. Rudyard told you while you were getting there that someone would do the telephone hookups, and you hope that to mean DSL and not dialup. The salesperson loos behind you for a moment, as if he'd caught something with the corner of his eye. "Sure, we can get you and your... father? set up right away."

[7:15:36 PM] M K B: There's the little laugh again, now on the other side.

[7:22:45 PM] Kite: flick the voice a little. not enough to be SURE, but enough to make them worry, just a little deeper, just a little more tonally squeezed, flat and monotone and without the eyes moving At All. "Database host. three document feed scanners, multilingual OCR. four access terminals. Relevant cabling and localhost infrastructure." and flick right back and start darting the eyes again. "You haa~ave that stuff, right? Right? This is the right place to get he~elp for that stuf? You'll help me? You'll help me, won't you?" Hannah doesn't say a word about the voice change, let them wonder if it's just she has 'weird recall' or Something Worse. ...though the laugh is worrisome. stick to one scam at a time for now. She'd planned to 'see things' as part of it later on... if something IS here, well, hopefully Rudyard will see it, too.

[7:28:46 PM] M K B: For a moment it sounds like the salesperson said "You should buy necessities with begging money, not computers" in a chipmunk voice, but his lips aren't moving. Rather, he smiles uneasily and gets everything to the register, except the scanners which are heavy-ish. You have about fifteen hundred quid on you, which is JUST short, twenty or so.

[7:33:09 PM] Kite: Hannah doesn't let it show on her face that she expected to be short by a LOT more. hell, that's small enough that a sane person could get away with just asking for a discount on that much stuff and get it, let alone someone in the 'get them the hell out of here now now now' category. "Ohh... i DO hope we have enough for everything, this is all the office could raise!" Since she's still pretending to be spastic, she can look around a bit while the clerk starts counting, it makes more sense for Rudyard to be the one watching him to make sure he doesn't cheat, and she can try to spot where those sounds are coming from.....

[7:38:05 PM] M K B: They're coming from behind your head, whichever way you turn... which does enhance the act. "Bloody h- I lost count. Pardon me ma'am, got to start over..."

[7:42:13 PM] M K B: Outside, you see Rudyard slapping the security guard's back hard enough that the burlier, younger man almost falls forward, then there's a whoosh as the two get back inside. They seem to have found something to talk about that has to do with the Falklands incident, with Rudyard doing most of the talking. "How's my girl, then? Forgive the twinkle in my eye, about two feet five o'clock high, reminiscing makes me sound a tad drunk - where were you?" The cashier was startled by the entrance and has to start over again. "We'll also need some extension cords with PROPER fuses, I can't be having with sticking foil in the sockets!" Rudyard stalks off towards the extension cords, security guard in tow, and shouts to the cashier "Now lad, charge for two of the long ones, will you?"

[7:44:49 PM] Kite: "That's fi~iine, take your time! We're not in a hurry unless we have to push that big heavy trolley somewhere else! That would be Soo~~oo sad!" Well, at least as hallucinations go it's something of a softcock teiliad. Won't be the one or ones that i've been used to, which is odd. And it's probably not used to someone who's been shrugging off hearing voices for years.

[7:47:41 PM] M K B: "So with the extension cords, that's... that's fine, go ahead, thank you for visiting, will you be wanting a guarantee?" The store manager, standing near you and the cashier in a way that he thinks you can't see him, switches from making "kill it" signs to frantic "no no no" signs. "Like I was saying, thank you for shopping here, let me hold the door for you..."

[7:50:21 PM] Kite: Hannah can't resist one more stab, letting the fake expression slide off like melting wax and a nice wide manic grin taking it's place once the trolley is loaded with gear instead of coinage "No, that's what the hacksaw and soldering iron are for! Have fun!" And she does not even slightly reist the urge to cackle maniacally while pushing the trolley out the door.

[7:53:30 PM] Kite: (orders to arrange food have been given. back as soon as i can)

[7:54:58 PM] M K B: (okie!)

[7:55:01 PM] M K B: (no rush~)

[8:27:39 PM] M K B: hxxp://satwcomic.com/clothes-confusion I propose that to end sexism in islamic countries, we fund this.

[8:29:49 PM] M K B: hxxp://satwcomic.com/axis-powers-after-the-war paaaaants

[8:46:03 PM] Kite: (back)

[8:46:21 PM] M K B: (pants!)

[8:46:22 PM] M K B: sry

[8:46:23 PM] M K B: awake

[8:47:02 PM] Kite: (no worries *huggles*)

[8:47:50 PM] M K B: The trip home is slow but uneventful! Rudyard asks what was it with the crazy faces. "So, uhm, it'd be good if you slept on base for a couple nights, there's definitely something hovering about you. I do believe lining the barracks with paperwork should help."

[8:49:51 PM] Kite: Hannah smiles genuinely "You notice they didn't even ask if we had any way to get the money to make up the gap, or suggest we get less things? i expected us to be short a LOT more, and still be getting a couple hundred off the price after dropping the load to three terminals. 'Sane' people get upset enough about not getting the price they want, they don't want to antagonize someone who's obviously crazy. Also, did you notice something in there trying to pretend to be a hallucination? Softcock compared to the ghosts i'm used to, but, maybe it got shaken up by the whole thing with the werewolf."

[8:56:07 PM] M K B: "I rather think I did, pointed it out for you - not sure what it is. Again, I sincerely hope it isn't ghosts." He shakes his head. "Mind you, ghosts are a fine tradition when they stick to where they're supposed to stick to, nothing wrong with a bit of haunting, but if they start roaming... that'd be a problem." "Stop jumping on the bed! It's going to break, and you're scaring the demons!" Where did the last bit come from? You get back to base via the lorry ramp to find it... well, just as messy, really; work has stopped, being Tea Time, and Rudyard leaves you with a shopping cart full of newish gear and four immaculate wooden desks under the wireframe globe, that weren't there. There's even power! There's even a cup of tea for you. With SIX sugar cubes. Actual sugar cubes, too! The place looks somehow bigger now that the welding and hammering has stopped; workers and clerks are making a point of stopping, with most but visibly not all personnel getting ready to go home.

[9:03:58 PM] Kite: "Ah, i had wondered if that was what you meant. it seemed to want to stay behind me as I looked for it." Hannah is unused to the concept of Tea Time, so while she is grateful and does drink while she does so in order to keep the dust down, she get started with setting everything up, getting the database and terminals, basically netbooks, but with a real ethernet port not the fragile as fuck USB adaptor, up and going and configuring them, if everyone's winding down for the night, she can have the scanner feeds ready for the morning before the much anticipated experience of sleepign by herself.

[9:07:23 PM] M K B: You get into work and find a very matronly matron tap your shoulder with a carpentry pencil. "Time to call it a day, girl! Don't make me ask twice! I know you probably feel like you could take on an army of hemophages after this morning, but we need you rested!" The woman is not in uniform, but she could make anything look like one. She's about Rudyard's age, which means a harried fifty or a very well-preserved seventy. This place probably does that to people. "Now, Pinky's going to be out of commission for another day and the A team hasn't returned yet, so if anything happens tomorrow, it'l have to be you and Rusty!"

[9:16:16 PM] Kite: Hannah smiles "This is restful for me, Ma'am. i look forward to not-being-haunted letting me sleep without drugs, let alone for more than four hours. i feel like there's ajob that needs doing and for the first time in my life i'm the right person to do it. But also that i have a lot to learn."

[9:19:09 PM] M K B: The few people who are still around (apparently some carpentry is being done, quietly, and one of the freezers has been brought back into operation to store the werewolf's body, which required taking all the others apart) stop for two beats when you contradict this particular woman. When she looks at you in disbelief, blinks twice, and walks off with "Keep it up, then!" you hear a collective sigh of relief.

[9:19:19 PM] M K B: (i sorry, i am having to slap self to maintain awakeness)

[9:20:02 PM] Kite: (@.@ if needing to slap self to maintain awakeness, goto sleep!! *huggles lots*)

[9:20:30 PM] M K B: (if want to try to do next sortie, can try, otherwise ninis?)

[2:27:41 PM] M K B: Hokay!

[2:29:48 PM] M K B: We left Val having played sysadmin to set up some decent PCs for the Aerial Hussars, so they could translate German without turning into Nazis. She slept a remarkably peaceful eight hours due to the barracks lining, but is woken up by the sound of a maniac with a hacksaw breaking down said barracks!

[2:30:06 PM] M K B: Dee made THE YUMMIEST MINESTRONE EVER.

[2:32:56 PM] Kite: Val unsurprisingly reacts to this by screaming the ancient battlecry of insomniacs everywhere, incoherent bellowing, attempting to find something sturdy with which to attempt to smack the presumed attacker

[2:39:17 PM] M K B: The noise stops. "Oooops! Went too far into the partition wall! Sorry!" The voice belongs to someone who is probably younger than their seventies, so at least there's that. "If you're up, there's oatmeal in the hall, also there's a hall!" *CRASH* "Most of a hall."

[2:42:11 PM] M K B: The paperwork padding apparently keeps away evil spirits, but not so much for normal insulation....

[2:48:25 PM] Kite: Val tries to hide under her bedding at least until the person looks away, constantly looking at the disruption in the wall, hurriedly getting dressed as soon as she feels alone, which is significantly different from actually being alone, and then, and ONLY then goes to seek FOOOOD

[2:55:06 PM] M K B: There's a cut in the wall next to the door -- the barracks are basically WW2 era port-a-rigid-tents that have been perched in one of the intact floors -- but no actual damage. This is a British installation, so you find out that showers are only available after missions! Food is.... porridge-y. The mess hall has been rebuilt, and now has most of its walls, so there's that; one of the old folks has figured out youtube, because the black and white TVs that are mounted in some corners for what must've been an advanced early warning system are on a loop of a kitten gif in a bowler hat (the kitten, not the file). As an operative, you have a reserved table! No reserved food though, so you gotta stand in line behind one of the clerks, who has bought a PC FOR DUMMIES manual from about 1995 and is reading it leisurely. At least there's porridge and boiled apples... The table for the A team is still empty; so's the one for B team, which so far is just you and Pinky who is going to be out of it for another day. Rudyard is standing in mild embarassment next to your assigned seat. He rates a packet of crisps, apparently.

[3:00:10 PM] Kite: Standing in line is no big deal. At least here, unlike the hospitals, standing in line for food does not involve people who think they're 3 pulling your hair. Or people who think they're napoleon pulling your hair. Or, because of the wall liners warding off the fuckers who've pestered her for so long, spectral visions claiming to be the GHOST of napoleon trying to pull her hair. There's a lot of reasons she has short hair these days. Once Val has collected her food, and made a mental note once the two networks are operational, to get some pdfs of a more recent 'for dummies' book to hand out, and maybe a knockoff ebay kindle or two to hand them around on, she does indeed move to said seat, wondering why he's looking embarassed. has she done something stupid? has HE done something stupid?

[3:00:22 PM] Kite: "Good morning, Sir?"

[3:04:34 PM] M K B: "Good morning, Valerie! No rest for the wicked, I'm afraid. I have two problems - a teleiad incursion in Cardiff, which is not at all urgent because they're filming a Doctor Who episode there right now and I expect no more weirdness than would ordinarily come of that, and the fact that half my clerks are hypnotized by Nazi propaganda... I think! This despite our effort to have the calculators do the actual translation."

[3:06:58 PM] Kite: "Did that happen before? Did the human translated documents still have that effect on people other than the translator?"

[3:09:01 PM] M K B: "No, only the translator, just - It's a little weird. I think the translator program is broken. It keeps playing the same video over and over, but the subtitles keep changing. And the people doing the collating are just staring, laughing and not doing any work! To top it off, there's a standing regulation to not interrupt them, so I can't even apply some sense to their ears!"

[3:09:36 PM] Kite: "...the video wouldn't happen to be of hitler having a tantrum and pounding on a table, would it?"

[3:11:49 PM] M K B: "Why, yes, yes it does. About half the time."

[3:13:24 PM] M K B: Rudyard opens the packet of crisps and offers some. There is no expiration date on it, but you see no year starting with 20 on the package.

[3:16:07 PM] Kite: Val attempts the crisps valliantly, it's only polite, and how bad can potato GO after it's had that much oil and salt happen to it? "That should be fixable. That kind of hypnosis happens to a lot of people. It's safe to interrupt them, possibly with lurid threats about how car batteries interact with testicles."

[3:16:33 PM] Kite: Saying it that way probably is not the most moral thing to do. But at the same time, it's a way Rudyard will understand, which is probably important.

[3:18:45 PM] M K B: "This wouldn't have anything to do with the whole will to power and strength of ideas thing that they were looking at this morning, would it?" Rudyard seems relieved. "As long as we don't end up having to kicking any of the old boys for treason like it almost happened last time... Anyway, you think a talking-to will cut the mustard?"

[3:20:55 PM] M K B: (bio)

[3:23:56 PM] Kite: "Just tell them that if they don't self-regulate their consumption, hulu, vimeo, youtube, redtube, xtube, facebook, and all related media forms will be blocked by someone who knows more about computers than they do, and the rest of the staff will be told that their weak wills are why no one gets kitten-gifs anymore."

[3:26:56 PM] M K B: "Worth a try, to be sure." The crisps are surprisingly edible, and Rudyard seems a little less worried about accidentally creating Nazi sleeper agents. "Do you reckon that you can take a look at the Cardiff situation by yourself? You'll be happy to know that we've noticed something attempting to come into the barracks last night. So, chin up! Circumstantial evidence that you are not mental!"

[3:30:32 PM] Kite: "Probably, Sir. I don't much like the show so I won't be at risk of 'fantarding' and missing what i'm supposed to be looking for. Do we know what kind of teleiad? Should i be expecting to use a gun or a bug-net? And it's good to know i'm not hallucinating, Sir. That's not proof i'm not insane in other ways, just for sake of exhaustive clarity."

[3:30:47 PM] Kite: (Mastress has woken up, so i must acquire foods, back in 20-30)

[3:32:31 PM] Kite: (apologies for interruption, will be as quick as i can be *hugs*)

[3:36:46 PM] M K B: (Noworries!)

[3:58:27 PM] Kite: (back. sorry about that. you know how it is at the moment. if i don't get it done, it doesn't get done. i'd hoped Mastress would be able to help once woke up, but was not the case, so had to solo while had the energy within applicable bands)

[3:58:40 PM] Kite: (aheh. and JUST bade it under the 30. whew)

[3:58:56 PM] M K B: (noworries! is Rant ok? is yu?)

[4:00:11 PM] Kite: (i'm sweaty and shaky, but okay. may need to bio very shortly, unsure)

[4:00:22 PM] M K B: (then go (kiss) i in no rush, doing light work)

[4:00:26 PM] Kite: (make that definitely need to bio. stupid fever. back asap)

[4:01:44 PM] M K B: "Right, then! This won't need hurry, so if you could take the train there... Essentially, the Post and the BBC have been bouncing letters addressed to the Doctor from a little boy. We assumed it was some manner of marketing operation" Rudyard puts scare quotes around marketing "but the studio denies any involvement. We would leave it at that, except the letters -- which we regrettably had to open and read -- indicate an ongoing dialogue. We suspect either a teleiad, or a child predator. If the latter, we ask that you inform the constabulary unless you or the objective is in clear and present danger."

[4:15:53 PM] Kite: Val noticably tenses, but nods, "Alright, i can do that. i'll need ot hut my way into the network room do geta recent copy of the train maps and schedules, but other than that, i can head out after breakfast. They're sure it's not just someone in the production team unofficially pretending to be the Doctor?"

[4:18:29 PM] M K B: "... Well, yes. The child believes himself to be in communication with one of the show's aliens, who has been giving him schematics to build some sort of teleporting machine. We suspect that he's been pressganged to create a variation of a well-known faery circle that existed in the area but was eradicated in the nineteen sixties due to urban expansion."

[4:23:30 PM] Kite: "That does sound a lot more like teleiads than a human predator. Well, depending on where the kid's being instructed to build it. If it is a teleiad, should i be trying to capture or kill?"

[4:26:34 PM] M K B: "Well... Teleiads have their part in our traditional folklore, so what we've been trying to do is allow them to return home, if they go peacefully. I would say it depends entirely on the target's intentions towards the child. I believe I can trust your judgement there." The slim dossier in front of your plate contained roughly what Rudyard told you, along with extremely outdated Tube and train maps.

[4:31:18 PM] Kite: Which would be why i planned to go print updated ones before leaving, and so i finish my porridge and drink, before going to go print those updated maps and schedules, and then see what the armoury can spare me. if it can be resolved nonviolently, good! if it cannot, i want to be ready to viddy some ultraviolence

[4:37:21 PM] M K B: You note that one of the computer is being used to print advice animals, one is being very gingerly connected to the ancient lab equipment, and one is playing youtube videos. At least they've moved from Hitler to Skyrim. Behind the screen is a blackboard where someone is trying to map the references between that, Nordic mythology as understood by the Nazis, and how did that one guy manage to run away from like, thirty american cops. The walk through the surreally empty area of the city is short, and you are soon able to catch a bus and then a train - comfortingly, the world hasn't forgotten such things as cell phones or people under fifty. The letters in your dossier are not the originals, rather they are typed copies -- it's obvious that somebody is instructing a kid of 10 to 12 years of age into building what looks like a weird art installation made mostly of leftover holiday LED lights. The kid lives in a flat not too far from Roald Dahl Plass, and you can indeed see a prop TARDIS being placed in front of the big obelisk by a work crew and lights being set up (fortunately, the train station is only a moment away). While you have some vague government pass for public transportation and, you hope, permission to carry a WW2-era gun, there's maybe five pounds in your pocket.

[4:42:18 PM] Kite: Val had meant it as a vague threat, but maybe she WILL put a diceroller on the router to randomly redirect youtube clicks to goatse. Then again, maybe they'll actually get something out of it. Haven't some people been screaming for years that there's real mystical secrets hidden in 'supposed fiction'?

Well, here we are in Cardiff then. Maybe she should have asked for some training in how to investigate things before volunteering for a solo-op outside the anti-hallucination accountancy binders. Well, too late for that now! So. How to approach a small child who may or may not be under the influences of the forces of the unknown? Well to start, go near the address and seeing if anything Freakish is visible is a start?

[4:47:59 PM] M K B: School in Britain tends to end between 3 and 4PM, and you get to Cardiff around one, which is surprisingly good time. Thinking about a missed lunch wouldn't do much for you, however, the only weirdness is all the stage lights and the occasional discreet greenscreen-green arrows taped to corners and tile floors outside of the apartment building; apparently they'll be shooting an action scene here. One of the crew asks you if you're Health and Safety. Oddly, she's in orange overalls, but is wearing a policewoman's helmet and seems to have a police uniform under the overalls. She's doing what used to be your job arranging cables so that they stay out of the way of shots, and doing it decently, if you're any judge. The apartments can proabbly be entered, and seem to be lower-middle class, small but tidy, at least from the outside.

[4:58:27 PM] Kite: "Sort of. Don't mind me, I'll stay out of your way." five quid won't get much lunch, i'll be able to sort that out after. Ambushing the kid on the way home from school would make ME look like a predator. So instead if i can figure out where he might be building the thing from the letters, maybe i can find -that-.... "i'm just here to make sure of some regulatory compliance issues from higher up." Val flashes the woman a quick grin, "i'm one of those problems that really will go away if you just ignore it."

[5:02:40 PM] M K B: "... Look, if you're a fan, just don't let me catch you taking pictures." the woman answers, somewhat exhasperated. The letters kept using phrases like "up here" and "up there".

[5:07:04 PM] Kite: "I assure you, that's about the furthest thing from my mind at the moment." Maybe the roof? well, worth a try, and if nothing else, i can look off from the edges to se if anything stands out. If he was building it IN the apartment, parents would notice.

[5:10:47 PM] M K B: The apartment building is roughly U shaped, with one side overlooking the plaza that is getting most of the prep for filming -- you don't know when that happens, but it can't be too far away since they're starting to cordon it off. Roof access is a matter of opening a door that says "Lift maintenance" and whose deadbolt had already been removed. Up there is... Well, a bit of water from the last rain, some heat exchangers, and a number of smashed plastic christmas trees that look like they're a few years old.

[5:13:20 PM] Kite: Hmm. it has to be somewhere. tiny child legs don't tend to go very far. maybe it's spread around the roof? i'm nto a fan, but Dr Who fans are pretty zealous, and that'd focus a lot of belief, if that means anything for teleiads doing their stuff?

[5:14:53 PM] M K B: Good question and definitely worth finding out! The trail of broken holdiay ornament takes to behind one of the protrusions that probably hold a lift's flywheel and motor. This apartment building looks cheap, but it's pretty new, so nothing had time to stain or rust yet.

[5:16:10 PM] M K B: (brb. i must coin.)

[5:16:17 PM] Kite: (coin? no worries..)

[5:20:27 PM] Kite: Wait... if the roof is mostly clean, why have broken holiday decorations been left up here? it's the wrong time of year for that to be recently broken by weather.. are those the lite-brites mentioned?

[5:54:17 PM] M K B: (Coins turned into roast!)

[5:54:36 PM] Kite: (still confused, but yai roast!)

[5:54:59 PM] M K B: (Coin box full. So, take coin box to coin machine, and buy something yummy with results. In this case, potroast.)

[5:55:06 PM] Kite: (oh! i getcha!)

[5:56:02 PM] M K B: A quick look behind the elevator motor housing says that yes! There's... Well, first off, it's not a pentagram, it's a concentrication of regular polygons. Second, it looks like the thing from E.T. there's even a speak-n-spell. Third, it looks strangely well made, overall? Is it a prop for the show, or is it what you're looking for?

[6:03:25 PM] Kite: The best way to answer that question is go downstairs and ask if they've rewired anything atop the apartment. the SECOND best, since elevator motors move other things, not themselves, is to see if i can find any cameras pointed at it, since i saw no camera choppers to indicate that could change quickly. i'll go with #2, since #1 wouldmean they'd want to come look at it.

[6:05:47 PM] M K B: Nope, no cameras, and the one power wire was coming from a perfectly ordinary outdoor socket that was built into the motor housing, presumably for maintenance tools. The whole thing does however look better build than you'd expect a kid to do, for one, it's on a wooden frame whose bits have been cut to size nicely.

[6:08:23 PM] M K B: "Anybody up there?" The voice is female, probably middle aged, smoker.

[6:12:35 PM] M K B: (am i tooslow miw)

[6:12:38 PM] Kite: "What would you do if I said 'No'?"

[6:12:57 PM] Kite: (you're not too slow. i did say i'm badly feverish, hon *huggles* )

[6:13:49 PM] M K B: "I'd say someone is mucking about! Are you one of the people from the telly? I thought they weren't filming on this floor!"

[6:15:18 PM] Kite: "Indirectly, ma'am, I'm doing a safety inspection of sorts, regulatory issue, checking up on the regular inspectors' work."

[6:16:36 PM] M K B: "Well close the door then, I don't want Ryan to sneak up there again!" That's the kid's name.

[6:21:38 PM] Kite: Stay calm. don't betray that has meaning. "A child comes up here often? That's not exactly safe, there's barely a railing around the edges."

[6:25:35 PM] M K B: "That's why there's supposed to be a lock on the door! You people come in, write up the supervisor, but nothing ever gets fixed! Millie put a lock herself and she almost got a fine for it! Ryan's a good boy but I demand it fixed before the Christmas play, it's Peter Pan, you know how kids are! Think if it was your own mother asking you, miss? I tried complaining to the council, but..." You get a few more beats of complaints about local bureaucracy.

[6:29:50 PM] Kite: "Well, i'm not with building management, ma'am, I'm with the government, and i assure you, that i intend to make certain this area is as safe as possible before i leave."

[6:31:12 PM] Kite: Thjis is technically all true.

[6:31:35 PM] M K B: "...Oh, look at that! I knew I should've gone to the council sooner! If you're looking at what the landlord's doing, do ask away! ... Actually, so sorry, I got to get going, thank you for looking into this. Be sure to look at the spouts, too, they're all bent, last time it rained I almost broke a leg!"

[6:34:09 PM] Kite: "Certainly, ma'am, I'll see what can be done about that. Don't mind me ma'am, feel free to go about your business."

[6:34:44 PM] Kite: Hopefully she'll go away soon. and well, frankly her kid is who i probably most need to talk to about things.

[6:36:25 PM] Kite: And well, just in case, glancing over the spouts in case they're involved COULD be relevant.

[6:37:51 PM] M K B: She leaves, mumbling something about a vice principal. The setup is off, by means of being unplugged. Actually, the water drains on the roof are semi-full, which is odd because the contraption is definitely not waterproof but it's perfectly dry around it.

[6:38:13 PM] M K B: It hasn't rained today, that you know of, but this being Wales, it probably did recently.

[6:41:42 PM] Kite: Odd that it's completely dry. But.. well, hard to say. Val's no weather expert. But the drains being full AND it being dry here, but nowhere else on the roof? Instinct says she wants to dismantle it right now, but.. well, find out what it is first.

[6:45:36 PM] M K B: You've seen Thulegesellshaft mystic circles, and they're works of art. This is pretty simple; it's a series of LED lights and the occasional fluorescent tube, to make a series of concentric regular polygons. The whole thing exists on a sheet of plywood, and you can see the construction lines in pencil on it, probably done with string and a ruler since they're a bit off in some places. If a twelve year old did this without help, it's fairly impressive. The speak-n-spell and some more odds and ends, including an old Nokia cell phone, are to the side. hxxp://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Academ_Convex_regular_polygons_of_which_number_of_sides_divides_24.svg

[6:45:58 PM] M K B: The whole thing is run off a regular power strip, which is currently not conencted to building opower.

[6:59:21 PM] Kite: ...Finding a way to make communications better needs to be a priority, i really wish i knew more about this stuff or could talk to someone who did, to know how dangerous this might or might not be. But i can check the phone and see if i can find anything oddball on it that i can recognize? (sorry on the delay. some screaming happened and my brain skitzed badly)

[7:00:18 PM] M K B: (eeple. no worries, but can i help?)

[7:00:39 PM] Kite: (i don't know)

[7:02:25 PM] M K B: The phone is a Nokia 3310 that is in "Emergency Calls Only" mode, and it's being fed from the same power strip -- that is, it's not, but the battery is good. The speak-n-spell is in same conditions, has the phrase "Morning star, evening star, give me the strenght to be true" loaded into it. Other than that, it looks like it's just various light fixtures, mostly old christmas ornaments, but also a few fluorescents. It all looks like stuff that was fished out of the dumpster.

[7:05:02 PM] M K B: (if want to talk about screaming, i happy to listen. dun haf to. okie?)

[7:14:44 PM] M K B: (offers hugs either way)

[7:17:06 PM] Kite: (dun want to, but thankyou) Well, the phrase seems like what a nursery rhyme would call a magic spell. Either this is a ferociously elaborate prank or an actual teleiad, and likely the latter. But... -can- she draw it out before the kid's here? should she? If the goal is to let the teleiads 'go home' then she needs more information before she interferes...

[7:19:31 PM] Kite: Have the drains been sabotaged in some way? Can she even see itnot he collected water enough to tell?

[7:22:42 PM] M K B: The drains are somewhat clogged, but not more so than your average apartment building. What's somewhat odd is, there are really no trees for quite far out, and the ones that are on the waterfront are small and ornamental. So the clogging consisting mostly of leaves is odd... what kind of wind do they get over here? The problem is that nobody really knows much about this stuff - you're probably the world authority on how fae interact with cellphones just by having reasonable suspicion that they might. "... Mum! You promised!" "Ryan, I'm sorry, it'll have to wait a couple of days." "But I need it tonight!" "What, to look at the actors? Honey, it's all done by computer, I told you, you'll just see a bunch of people running around looking silly. You'll probably like the show more if you don't stay up for this... I promised we'd try to get an autograph and we will, okay?" "You also promised about the telescope" "I'm sorry, it has to wait till Friday!"

[7:26:53 PM] Kite: Paranoia eventually wins, and she takes the batteries out of the Speak'n'Spell to tuck them in a pocket before stepping out of the way to look at the gutters more clearly. The building's taller than most of the trees, too. leafclog is... odd. It's tempting to try to clear the clogs right now by hand, but a: potentially sharp metal, b: might actually want to let this happen. lack of information is painful.

[7:30:11 PM] M K B: A good thing is that nobody's bothered you up here. Looking at the drains means you see that the square that this building kind of overlooks has been cordoned off; the prop TARDIS has been put in place and all the streetlights have had their bulbs replaced with stronger ones, as well as turned on during the day. The speak-n-spell dies normally with a wooowp. The voices downstairs stop after the click of a door, which was closed just softly enough to not be called a slam.

[7:31:16 PM] M K B: (sry if boring miw... try stuff. is free form. )

[7:33:28 PM] Kite: (is not boring. *snugs*)

[7:34:12 PM] Kite: Yeah. Gonna try to clear the drains, the way the water's behaving isn't natural with the... assembly of things being dry. someone wants the water here.

[7:36:26 PM] M K B: There's somehting odd. Amids the leaves there's some dirt (at least you hope it's dirt) and a bunch of... veggie leftovers? Has someone been trying to do composting? There are a couple sprouts in the muck, even.

[7:39:19 PM] Kite: not composting, but planting and growing. new growth surrounding the focus of the... Thing. This is elaborate, and it might even work.. is it to come in or go out?! ...The overall goal is to reduce the influence of Teleaids on the world. teleiad activity being televised would be bad. i'm going to break some of this, and try to open up some of the clog and let the water drain, and depending on if anythign reacts to this, may break more stuff.

[7:40:34 PM] M K B: Is the clog/composting going downstairs by gravity, or on the roof? The drains are new, it's all PVC so you're very unlikely to get your hands hurt.

[7:41:08 PM] Kite: on the roof, for now, because gravity might get noticed.

[7:43:20 PM] M K B: That takes relatively little time! Not much seems to have happened, other than well, it counts as gardening work in a sense, supposedly it's very relaxing... to Britons, anyway. The door to the staircase up here creaks. You've been here a while.

[7:47:59 PM] Kite: Calm down. Calm down. give the kid a friendly face. If he freaks out, things will go very badly. "Hello?"

[7:52:00 PM] M K B: Steps come up. "Aw, man..." An older kid who looks due to hit puberty any second now, in ratty clothes and gardening globes, carrying a schoolbag containing at minimum a ruler and an indoor extension cord. "...I promise I'll clean everything up, just leave it alone for today? It's... It's an art project, I was going to take a bunch of pictures and take it down."

[7:55:12 PM] Kite: "Are you sure that's what you want to tell me? How did the telescope fit into it?"

[7:57:41 PM] M K B: "... That's for taking pictures of the Doctor Who guys! You can see the whole set from here!" The kid runs at you at a speed that makes you worried he'll overshoot and fall down, for a split second. He looks at you. "You shouldn't be up here either, hmm?"

[8:29:16 PM] Kite: "I've been sent here by the government. To find out why someone claiming to be the Doctor wants you to build this, and what it's supposed to do."

[8:29:40 PM] Kite: (lost brain to fever. i'm sorry)

[8:31:10 PM] M K B: (No worries! Can stop here if wnat?

[8:31:20 PM] M K B: (ok to save to wiki?)

[8:31:26 PM] M K B: (hope was fun, pls try relaxies)